This past summer, I found myself in a social situation with another yoga teacher. Someone at our table was asking her about her classes, and she was testifying to their toughness: “Come to my classes and I’ll kick your ass,” she said.
She seems like a nice person, and so I chalked her response up to youth, enthusiasm, and misguided marketing. (I even wondered if I should write this, because if she sees it, I don’t want her to feel chastised. We simply have different viewpoints.)
Then last night, I took a yoga class in San Francisco. In opening the class, the teacher asked us to consider what we wanted to have happen.
“Kick my ass,” said the young woman on the mat next to me.
“Please don’t kick mine,” I replied, almost reflexively.
The teacher, who knows me, looked amused. She explained to the room that everyone comes to the mat wanting and needing a different experience. It’s important to take your own needs into consideration.
I would definitely agree, but to me there’s even more.
There’s no doubt that yoga can be an effective workout, one that will challenge your strength, flexibility, and cardiovascular capacity. But yoga is much more than a simple form of exercise, like aerobics, weightlifting, or Pilates. After all, asana, or the physical practice of yoga postures is only one type of yoga practice. (You can read about the others here.)
In the second century, Patanjali wrote the Yoga Sutra, the relatively brief document that is the seminal work that defines yoga. (Note: the Yoga Sutra has been translated many times and versions can be found online and in bookstores.)
Interestingly enough, nowhere in the Yoga Sutra does Pantanjali describe asana. It is not a book of exercises and practices in that sense, but rather a guide to life on the yogic path. He defines this path, as Ashtanga, or the Eight-Limbed Path of yoga. (Ashtanga is also the name of a school of physical yoga headed by Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.)
And, interestingly enough, most of it dovetails with basic Christian and Buddhist beliefs. It asks that practitioners use good ethical standards, get to know themselves, learn to concentrate and focus, keep a healthy body, be satisfied with a simple life, and devote themselves to God.
The first two limbs of the Eight-Limbed Path are the Yamas and the Niyamas, sometimes jokingly called the “yoga don’ts and dos”. These include ethical precepts, and the very first of the Yamas is Ahimsa, or non-violence.
So let me make my position perfectly clear: Ahimsa means no ass-kicking, not yours or that of anybody else.
Recently, my son’s science class undertook that classic environmental field project, where each child marks off a one-foot square of land and then observes it and records all of the living plants, insects, and animals in that space. They were encouraged to get to know their square, to get down close to it, to metaphorically live in it.
Your yoga mat is like that square, and on it, you get to be both the observer and the subject being observed. You get to live an entire life, metaphorically, on your mat.
And all of the principals of yoga, including Ahimsa, start right there, in your own space.
Practicing non-violence on the mat means not pushing yourself beyond your limits, not stretching yourself to the point of injury, not berating yourself for your weaknesses, and not being impatient with yourself in the learning and opening process.
In order to do this, you need to listen to your body, know yourself, bring concentration and mindfulness to your practice, stop comparing yourself to the others around you, and – yes – be willing to question a teacher who’s pushing you beyond yourself.
This doesn’t mean you can’t challenge yourself; it just means you should honor your limits.
As a student, I visit my favorite teachers to have my form corrected, to be led through an invigorating sequence, to learn new points of view, and to hear messages of inspiration that support my practice. (One of my teachers, in particular, has the uncanny ability to say exactly what I need to hear. Or maybe I’m just more receptive on the mat.) But I don’t visit to have my ass kicked. Nor do I visit to be intimidated – by the environment, by competitive energy from other students, or by the teacher.
And, as a teacher, I have a responsibility to recognize my students’ limits and limitations, respect their emotions, and make physical adjustments judiciously and kindly. I can lead my students to stretch their boundaries without pushing them into a place of physical or emotional risk.
My students know that one of my favorite sayings is “You are in the world who you are on your mat.” By this, I mean that if we’re impatient, violent or self-injurious, lazy, sad, competitive, or vain in the world, it will manifest on the mat. Likewise, if we cultivate concentration, effort, patience, contentment, and lovingkindness on our mat, we’ll take that out into the world.
So, during this holiday season, I’m suggesting that as we send out messages saying Peace on Earth, we should remember it really does begin with ourselves. Give yourself a holiday gift, and make a commitment to starting the practice of Ahmisa right there on your own mat.
Namasté
I’ve written before about the western “kick my ass” yoga mentality. Once I subbed a class for a teacher who was known for her ability to “kick ass.” I also can kick some yoga ass, but in a different way…:) so this student who did not know me walked in, saw me, looked worried, and said “is your class intense?” I asked, “what do you mean by intense?” and she left.
students should really be going inward and asking themselves WHY they need their asses kicked….especially in a yoga class.
Great points. I suspect with time, with regular practice, those who may want their ass kicked will learn patience and mellow on that point. But the key is consistent practice. The practice changes us over time.
Amen, Sister!
As they say here in Italy, “D’accordo”, or, we agree completely! What a terrific post!
Yup, I also agree agree!
Well said.
i agree, great post and good insights. i thank you for sharing def. makes me ponder.
I’ve been known to say that my yoga teacher kicks ass, in a kind and nurturing way–which is to say that she challenges me and motivates me, in a humorous, ironic way, and the people I say it to, including the teacher herself (who would never literally or figuratively kick anybody’s ass), understand that. So, basically, when I read your post, I find myself asking “what was the young woman’s tone of voice when she said she wanted her ass kicked? How well does the teacher know her? Could it be that she was making a joke and you simply weren’t getting it?
I know some people subscribe to the belief that spending too much time standing on your head can cause a person to lose their sense of perspective (and humor!), but trust me, mine’s still intact.
I wouldn’t have written an entire essay if I thought she was making a joke.
She was saying “work me until I’m a sweating, trembling mess. Push me beyond my limits. Ask me to do things my body isn’t ready for, because then I’ll think I’ve had a ‘real’ workout”.
One of the hardest things to teach new students is that yoga, done safely and steadily, will increase their fitness. Students who arrive from other exercise disciplines think they have to be left exhausted (and possibly injured) for their time on the mat to be effective.
This post really resonated with me. I’m just learning Ashtanga and having to learn on my own for multiple reasons (finances and serious latex allergies to even air borne particles) It was hard but my inner guru told me to learn the poses one at a time rather than using a ton of modifications and pushing through the entire series. I felt kind of like… maybe Mysore style only works in yoga school. But I also felt being patient and going super slow was right and yes, kinder for me. Reading this post made me feel much better. Thank you.
I have just found this wonderful blog!! Thank you so much for writing about this subject. As a yoga teacher myself I am always talking to people who want the “boot camp yoga” experience. I try tactfully to explain that there is much more to Yoga than the physical, but sadly they don’t always listen. I hope that this attraction to what I call “one dimensional” Yoga will open the door to the other seven!!
a small bit of thought but great things to think and make happen in our lives. From the land of Gandhiji who taught about ahimsa, you made us to think of it again through this post.
I totally agree with your post especially on the part where you and your teacher should honor your limitations. Sometimes, both students and teachers transcend beyond these limits to prove how able they are to face a great challenge or how great a teacher they are. You’ve made me realize a lot of things. Thanks for sharing. What is the greatest challenge you faced being a yogi so far?
It’s not just a Western things … if you ever study Yoga in Pune with BKS Iyengar or in Mysore with Pattabhi Jois you will find the classes to be stern and demanding and very little of the California variety of open hearted, wherever you are is ok attitude. I’m not saying it’s right, it’s not the form of yoga I myself practice, but nonetheless it’s not just the Western goal-oriented mind that creates this, but something more intrinsically human.
Hey Kashif,
You are right but in my opinion, this situation holds true for Iyengar students and instructors. I know a handful of yoga instructors, who have hurt themselves in an iyengar class. despite knowing the anatomy and the true philosophy, these teachers were pushed way too far. there is of course nothing wrong with it, it is simply not for everyone.
Namste
Farida
Many people go at it with the I need to be the best, I need to beat everyone and myself mentality.
Yoga among other things is just the oposite.
She probably knows this, but she’s selling. I don’t think I would go to such a class.
C. Terol
i like this post.
and i like what kashif above has to say as well.
yoga asana is a variation of gymnastics and other physical exercises- it says so in the hatha yoga pradapika, one of the first books written about asana.
i totally understand and need the mental and spiritual aspect of yoga, but i also feel like we shouldnt devalue the physical practice. in a world where so many of us have to sit all day while working, i think it makes sense to desire a good therapy session combined with a good workout- it’s a win-win.
i practice to meditate, but also to get sweating, get some endorphins flowing, and bring health to my body. so i suppose i like to get my ass and my brain kicked 😉
I just discovered your blog and this post is what drew me to it. I actually don’t understand the concept of “kicking ass” in yoga since I always associate this with non-violence, calmness and sometimes with meditation. But I guess some people need or see something else in their practice. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
The reason is because people feel they don’t get a “real workout” unless their heart is pumping and they are sweating buckets. And in this case, they may want to try Power Yoga or Vinyasa.
I have discovered that many of my students have previously been too intimidated to go to yoga classes for the very reason that they worried they won’t be able to do it. As teachers I find it important that we help our students and build their confidence so they keep returning. Kick ass has its place for sure. I prefer the gentler approach though and guiding the yogis along their path by building up their strength stage by stage in order that they get really strong and then if they want they can go to a kick ass class, or they can stay and build their internal strength with me.
Like your blog, just found it.
Yoga is becoming the new gym. Folks want to get “worked” “out”. While our world still invests so heavily in violence, it is not surprising that some students come to yoga to “get their asses kicked”. It’s pretty hard these days to come and say “I want to be nurtured.” Hopefully this will change, but until it does, as teachers we need to help students learn that ass loving is better than ass-kicking.
Diana Bonyhadi
kharmabellayoga.wordpress.com
Hi,
This is very well said! thank you so much for clarifying it to those who are wanting to “kick ass”.
Looking forward to your next post!
Love this post! How many times have I had people disappointed in my class because they could not limp out the door? and there is nothing you can do about it, i simply hope they keep coming back and one day it will all click into place. on the flip side though, i have also had a ton of people tell me they appreciate the pace and that they feel things in places they never knew existed! and so, all you can do is practice what you believe to be true and hope they will get it, love it and accept it.
thank you for this post!
namaste.
Hehe…. My name is Rachel and I am a yoga ass-kicker.:)
Mostly with men and or my clients who have been practicing yoga and now have injuries. Newbies get coddled… I am crazy about alignment and I do believe the devil is in the detail…. with that said… the pairs of shoes that have been forgotten at the front doors always keeps them coming back for more.
Jai ma for the variety of teachers!